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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426411">I'm findin' ways to articulate the feeling I'm goin' through</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SayNoNo/pseuds/SayNoNo'>SayNoNo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Disaster Eddie Kaspbrak, Jealousy, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Oblivious Richie Tozier, One-Sided Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, POV Alternating, Pining, Protective Eddie Kaspbrak, Protective Richie Tozier, Rated T for Trashmouth, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Sassy Eddie Kaspbrak, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Stanley Uris is a Good Friend, Teenage Losers Club (IT)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:27:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SayNoNo/pseuds/SayNoNo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie left the house in a hurry.<br/>'Who was this girl and what was she doing with Richie?'</p><p>"Don't re-read too m-much into it Eddie"</p><p>"Easy for you to say, you're not the one shacking up with some random girl contracting god knows what in the process"</p><p>"Is that r-really all thats bo-bo-thering you? The f-fact that Richies swapping s-sp-it with some random girl"</p><p>Eddie grimaced slightly and said "It's bothering me that he's swapping spit at all." he looked down and kicked the pebbles on the trail softly with his toes "I mean seriously, what could anyone possibly see in Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier?" he muttered under his breath. </p><p>***</p><p>(The losers looking a little closer at the relationship between Richie and Eddie, and realizing maybe there's something more there.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>189</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Still kinda obsessed with this Clown movie.<br/>I really love the whole losers finding out trope, or in this case just piecing things together. I love these idiots and just want them to get their happy ending, cuz my boys deserved better </p><p>The Losers are slightly aged up in this, I imagined them as seniors so probably 17/18</p><p>and yes the title is song lyrics as well as the chapter titles<br/>- Die For You by The Weeknd</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>STAN hates waiting on people, hates hanging by himself outside the school waiting for his idiot friends to pick up the pace a little bit. Like for fucks sake, school ends at 2:50 and it had already been ten minutes and Stan was still alone. </p><p>Stan shook his head with barely concealed annoyance, he pushed a hand through his tight curls messing them up a little. It was the end of the day after all, he was allowed to convey his frustrations through tiny imperfections in his appearance. He tightened his grip on his backpack and walked behind the tree he was leaning against. </p><p>The Bowers gang had just stepped out of the building and Stan was just not up for any of their antics today. </p><p>However small. </p><p>He stood behind the tree and let them pass, keeping his eyes trained on the bike curb. They walked by shoving each other, Henry's elbows digging into Patrick's ribs, hands gripping each others shoulders with stiffly clenched smiles. Victor broke away to kick at the bike stand uselessly. </p><p>'Fucking pricks'</p><p>The losers usually park their bikes in a row, next to Bills Jaguar Mark IV Schwinn bike, Silver, was an empty slot. </p><p>Richie's bike was missing. </p><p>The back building where the library is has its own bike curb, but not many people use that one. It's further away and if you're not actually going into the library it's also kinda inconvenient. Locked there was Richie's disgustingly obnoxious Razor Agitator BMX, he had also gotten it in bright red as if it being a freestyle bike wasn't enough. </p><p>'Richie Tozier at the library, a likely fucking story.'</p><p>Stan pushed off the tree, ducked down, and swiftly headed through the library doors. He just wanted to see. He gave Mrs. Hillcroft, the librarian, a soft smile as she offered him a nod. </p><p>Doubtful that Richie was here, but on the off chance that he was, Stan would hold it over his head till the day he dies. </p><p>The tables were taken up, kids were scrambling to get some work done, and the rest were rushing around with textbooks and emergency prints. </p><p>Stan trailed through each aisle, skimming the back tables, just when he was about to give up he reached the end and heard the unmistakably familiar voice. </p><p>"I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm gonna fail, then I'd have to repeat the class, and then my mom's gonna blow a gasket when--"</p><p>Stan rounded the shelf and peered around it just in time to hear Richie quip back "I know something else she could blow,” Richie said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.</p><p>"For fucks sake Rich, that's disgusting"</p><p>"That's not what your mom said after she got some of--"</p><p>"Beep Beep asshole" Eddie scowled as Richie threw him his infamous shit-eating grin. </p><p>"Alright Eds, you're worrying about nothing. You haven't even written the test yet and you're worried about failing. Chill out, come here."</p><p>Richie used his hand nearest to Eddie and dragged the smaller boy closer in by his leg. </p><p>"Get your massive paws away from me!"</p><p>Stan knew he should just walk away but something kept him there. </p><p>He carefully observed the two, they were each leaning against a shelf on the opposite sides of one another, their legs were tangled together in a mess of limbs. </p><p>Balanced precariously in-between them, on top of shoddy bone structure and busted kneecaps sat math textbooks and notebooks. Notes spread around them, riddled with Eddie's neat handwriting, crossed away with a red pen that screamed Richie's chicken scratch. </p><p>Tucked behind Richie's ear was the same red pen. He had a hand on Eddie's ankle as he leaned in to trace over Eddie's work with his pen. </p><p>Eddie curled into Richie and watched studiously. "You'll get it soon Eds, you've got the formula down you're just having trouble making sense of it."</p><p>"Don't call me that fuckface. I can't do jackshit with the formulas if I don't know how to use them" he said gesticulating wildly </p><p>"That's where I come in Eddie Spaghetti, seriously Yuh dint think I'd let my daahling sufr all by his lonesome now didya?"</p><p>"Okay...never again. That was so shit, you know, you need to actually get better at those if you wanna make it in this lifetime"</p><p>"You wound me Eds, and right after I said that I can't let you suffer. Tsk tsk, where's the love?"</p><p>"Love, my ass Trashmouth"</p><p>Richie clicked his tongue "It isss one fiiiine ass"</p><p>Eddie flushed swatting him over the head before Richie threw his head back and cackled. </p><p>"Shut the fuck up dick, you’re gonna get us kicked out again“</p><p>Richie snorted "They'd be doing us a favour"</p><p>"Uh no, then we'd have to explain to the losers what we're doing and they'd wanna help and you'd also have to sneak into my hou--"</p><p>"Aw does Eddie Spaghetti want me for himself?" Richie reached over to pinch at Eddie's cheeks "Cute! Cute! Cute!" </p><p>"Cut it out Rich!" Eddie was just flailing at that point in his useless attempt to get as far away from Richie as possible. </p><p>"Okay okay, no more." He put his hands up in mock surrender "down to business okay, let's look at some word problems" </p><p>He bit off the cap of his pen and leaned into Eddie to explain the concepts once again. It was like he had endless patience with him, and Lord knows that patience and Richie don't belong in the same tri-state area, let alone the same sentence. </p><p>Stan smiled slowly and made his way out of the library back towards the parking lot. </p><p>"Christ S-S-Stan, what t-t-took you so long?"</p><p>"Ya, and where are Richie and Eddie?" Ben asked curiously </p><p>“Don’t know, I think those two skipped today. Must've went home or something" As all the losers climbed back onto their bikes, Stan threw a look back at the library.</p><p>There was nothing to worry about. Stan knew Richie wouldn't rest till Eddie gets that passing grade and then some.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>BILL didn't understand how he hadn't caught it before this. They were two of his best friends, at one point they were all he had and Stan of course. </p><p>Bill knew he could be stubborn when he wanted to be, he gets really set on his ways and sometimes refuses to settle for anything less than that. </p><p>"Can someone pass me the sunscreen?"</p><p>"Here Bev" Bill pulled the tube out of his backpack and handed it to Beverly. <br/>He gripped his messenger bag a little tighter, he had all his stuff in there. He made sure to bring extra brushes and even his backup sketchbook, he'd been saving up for the last two weeks to buy a set of watercolour paints. Painting this cliffside view was his summer goal. Now as his supplies jostled in the bag he shifted carefully realizing how heavy it was. </p><p>Everyone shifted their feet getting antsy at the base of the trail. </p><p>"Where the fuck is he?" Eddie asked impatiently, huffing out a breath of unadulterated frustration. </p><p>"It's only been three minutes, he'll be here soo--"</p><p>"Hey Losers" Richie calmly made his way towards the trail and joined the group. Wearing a ripped black muscle tee, he had his hands pushed into his shorts' pockets, sunglasses perched in his messy curls, a drawstring backpack hanging off his shoulders, and a crooked smirk on his face to complete his carefree look. </p><p>"What took so long dickwad" Eddie scowled, immediately disturbing the peace and kicking Richie in the shin. </p><p>"Fuck Eddie, shit fucking OW Eds!" He rubbed his shin rapidly trying to soothe the pain. </p><p>Bill rolled his eyes “Christ guys, keep it together. We're trying to make it to the top in one piece."</p><p>"Fat chance, do you know how many hazards we can face on a hiking trail? The number of diseases and harm that we can encounter during this two-hour hike alone can be so detrimental to our remaining lifespan that we could literally—“</p><p>Richie let his head loll to the side moaning "Oh yes, just like that, keep talking dirty Spagheds"</p><p>"Shut up Richie, you of all people need to be more conscious of the—“</p><p>Bill grabbed a stick off the ground and clasped it tightly in his fist. "On Ho!"</p><p>"Upwards and Onwards Losers!" Richie pumped a fist in the air and wrapped his arm around Eddie's shoulders. </p><p>He stepped up next to Bill, dragging Eddie with him. </p><p>***</p><p>"Are we there yet?" Ben wheezed. "It feels like...like it's been forever."</p><p>"We gotta at least be close"</p><p>"That's what your mom said last night Stan"</p><p>They all let out a collective groan and a <br/>"Beep Beep Richie!"</p><p>"I can't do it guys. I'm sweating, I feel like I'm gonna pass out, and I'm fucking exhausted." Eddie let his head fall backwards as the sweat dripped down his neck. </p><p>Bill watched Richie's throat bob as he quickly cut his eyes away "Stop complaining shortstack" he pulled his drawstring closer to his chest and dug around to pull out and hand Eddie his Street fighter themed water bottle "Here, hydrate or whatever" Eddie grasped the bottle like it was his lifeline and all but dumped half the bottle onto himself, drenching himself in the cold water. </p><p>Bill felt gross too, his shirt was sticking itself to his skin and he could feel how clammy his hands were getting, he didn't understand how Richie and Eddie had been holding hands this entire time. </p><p>"Guys, I p-promise we're almost th-th-there."</p><p>"You said that twenty minutes ago Bill!" Stan huffed indignantly rolling his eyes skyward. He muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of 'God', 'help', and 'idiots'. </p><p>"No, s-s-seriously, the cl-clearing is right there, just think of the b-birds Stan"</p><p>"Ya I didn't walk all the way up here to observe sparrows mate, I could've had a perfectly good time mating on my own Billiam"</p><p>"Ugh, you never stop do you" </p><p>"Why would I when I have so much to offer?"</p><p>"And what is it that you're offering, trash?"</p><p>"One man's trash is another man's treasure Eds"</p><p>"Don't call me that!" Eddie ripped his hand away from Richie's, causing him to pout before storming ahead of everyone. "Well...Come on losers, let's get to the top already"</p><p>***</p><p>Bill balanced his sketchbook across his lap carefully as he dug around in his messenger bag for a smaller paintbrush. </p><p>Bill had gotten really into watercolours recently, and painting scenic views had become his go-to way of expressing emotion lately. As he tried to concentrate he couldn't help but overhear the other losers. </p><p>"Hey Bill, how's the painting coming?" Stan asked dropping down next to Bill on the big rock, he braced himself on his palms as his binoculars hung delicately around his neck. </p><p>"Alr-r-right I guess. How were the b-b-birds?"</p><p>"Every time I caught sight of one they'd be scared off by Richie's obnoxious voice."</p><p>Bill snickered "Sounds about right."</p><p>"I swear he was doing it on purpose..." Stan muttered, "Look, they're right there." He pointed the two out by the edge of the cliff</p><p>Eddie had a camera clenched tightly in his hands, he looked like he was grinding his teeth slowly. <br/>"Hold still Richie" he rolled the film and took the picture again. </p><p>Richie stood right by the edge of the cliff, grinning with both arms out. His eyes were shut tightly as he stuck his tongue out around his smile. His muscle tee billowed slightly in the wind "I am still!" </p><p>"That's still?!" Eddie dropped the camera to sling around his neck as he huffed exasperatedly. "I've taken twelve pictures dumb ass"</p><p>"Keep going. I'll pose some more." Richie grabbed his sunglasses and pushed them onto his face before pretending to teeter off the edge of the cliff. </p><p>"Oh my fucking god! What is wrong with you, step away fucker, you're gonna fall to your death at this rate. Do you know what would happen to you if you fell from this height? I'll tell you what, you'll break literally every single--" </p><p>Eddie was turning red as he made that hand chopping motion he usually directs at Richie. </p><p>"Yeah yeah, noise noise. The real question is, how much would you miss me if I were to cannonball off this cliff"</p><p>"Not even a little you beanstalk looking noodle." Eddie crossed his arms and turned away from Richie. </p><p>"Oh come Eddie Spaghetti, not even a little."</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"Not even a teensy weensy bit."</p><p>"Nuh-uh" </p><p>"How about an itty bitty--"</p><p>"Shut the fuck up before I push you off myself."</p><p>"Ha! Eds gets off a good one, if you do that who'd take your picture." Richie leaned down and slowly lifted the camera off Eddie. "Go stand there Eds."</p><p>"Okay, but take a proper picture. No making me look stupid."</p><p>"Oh baby, you do that on your own. Ow okay last one." He said rubbing at his arm where Eddie had pinched him "Just go look cute."</p><p>Bill got up and walked towards the two "Richie, m-maybe take the lens c-c-cap off the camera first, the pic-picture won't even c-come out at th-th-this rate."</p><p>Bill helped him adjust his hold. "Now l-look through the v-viewfi-finder and let Eddie know if he sh-should fix his po-po-posture or s-something."</p><p>"Understood Billy. Tilt your head down a bit Eds."</p><p>"Don't call me that, is this okay?" Eddie tilted his head down and to the side as he clutched his fanny pack with one hand. A small smirk adorned his face as he threw up a peace sign with the other. </p><p>Richie's face softened before he looked through the viewfinder and snapped the picture. </p><p>The flash went off and Bill heard a breathy tone mutter "Fucking beautiful" </p><p>Eddie came running up to Richie’s side, Richie licked his lips and gulped before moving the camera away from Eddie's view. Eddie narrowed his eyes and placed his hands on his hips "Show me!" </p><p>"Nope, what's the magic word"</p><p>"Show me the picture you noodle ass--"</p><p>Bill rolled his eyes and walked away from the two, the yelling slowly died down turning into laughter behind him. </p><p>Bill sat back down on his rock and flipped through his sketchbook, he watched as Richie put his arm holding the camera all the way up in the air as Eddie stood on his tippy-toes reaching for it. Eddie yelling and Richie laughing, pushed into each others space the two fit quite nicely, both against one another and perfectly with the cliffside view around them. The mountains played as a backdrop to them while they stood in the middle perfectly aligned to one another. </p><p>Bill flipped to a new page wondering if it's time for him to try painting people.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I try to find reason to pull us apart, It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>BEVERLY wasn't one for subtlety. When she noticed things she made sure she let people know that she noticed something. </p><p>Her heart was in the right place and all. She just tries to be helpful, but being helpful in her case can become quite meddlesome at times. </p><p>"Have any of you noticed how much Richie and Eddie have been fighting lately?" Beverly needed to talk to someone about this, but both Ben and Bill looked at her with clueless expressions. </p><p>"It's n-not really fi-fi-fighting with them. They j-j-ust like bu-bus-busting each other's balls."</p><p>"Yeah well, it's getting more out of hand lately."</p><p>"I think it's just them being themselves."<br/>
Ben said slowly, pushing his chocolate milk down the table for Richie to grab when he inevitably shows up.</p><p>"Ya, th-they can b-be intense without me-me-meaning to be."</p><p>"They care about each other a lot."</p><p>You think I don't know that guys, I know they care--"</p><p>"What's cracking losers!" Richie said throwing his backpack onto the ground. "Shit haystack, for me?" Richie held up the milk carton letting it dangle between his thumb and index finger. Grinning once Ben nodded. </p><p>"Sweet! You are an absolute treasure Benny" He split the carton open and took a long swig. He dragged his sleeve over his lips,  "Hey Staniel over here!" he yelled out waving his arms in the air like he was the last man standing on an abandoned island after a plane crash. </p><p>Stan had just walked into the cafeteria, he caught Richie's flailing arms and rolled his eyes. "Jesus fucking christ Trashmouth, I'm not blind like you. I can fucking see you guys." He dropped his tray next to Bill and took a bite of his apple scowling. </p><p>"Where's Eddie?" </p><p>Richie cut Bill's answer off.<br/>
"Why that’s a very good question Stan, where is wheezy?" </p><p>Beverly shot a quick look at Bill and Ben 'Told you idiots'<br/>
Richie would never use that name, that was reserved to hurt Eddie. </p><p>Bill raised his brows "I th-think he got caught up w-w-with Jenny."</p><p>"Who's Jenny?"</p><p>"She's that new girl, the one with braces and dark curly hair. She's in our English class, Ben." Stan said taking another bite of his apple. </p><p>"The one that dresses like a rockstar?" Ben asked with barely concealed awe. </p><p>"A fucking wannabe, but whatever." Richie took a couple more gulps of his chocolate milk as he pursed his lips. "What's taking Eddie so long anyway?"</p><p>"I think he l-lent her his n-n-notes."</p><p>Just about then, speak of the devil "Hey guys, sorry I'm late" Eddie dropped his binder on the table as he scooted in next to Richie. </p><p>"Hey shortstack, what took so long"</p><p>Eddie sighed and faced Richie carefully like he was gauging how to approach this. </p><p>"Just went to get back some of my notes," Eddie told him scooting a little closer and shrugging the question off.</p><p>“From Jenny?” Beverly cut in.</p><p>“Ya, guess she needed to catch up in Accounting. She seems cool, she was telling me about her—“ he said dropping his notebooks alongside the binder </p><p>"We eat at this table Eddie, put your fucking books away." </p><p>Eddie raised one brow in confusion, but his lips twisted as if he had expected this "What?"</p><p>"Dude nobody wants to listen to you talk about accounting, and seriously just move your shit" Richie snapped. </p><p>"Okay what the fuck happened to you?"</p><p>"I don't know, what the fuck took you so long?"</p><p>"What do you mean, I stopped to get my notes back from Jenny."</p><p>"Oh ya? That took this long or did she just have some other stuff to give you too" Richie smirked nastily and moved closer into Eddie's space.</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"I mean, it'd be good for you Eds. After all, to finally get some action after all this time. Seriously, so proud of you Eddie, to be honest firsts are usually shitty, but I imagine it was just as magical for Jenny as it was for—“</p><p>"Richie stop! What the fuck are you doing?" Bev cut in and pulled Richie back by the shoulder of his jacket. He bristled and shrugged off her touch before grabbing his backpack and briskly walking away from the table. </p><p>His lunch tray clattered against the trashcan when he aggressively pushed everything on it down the chute. </p><p>It's like the two had been a live wire for the last couple of weeks. </p><p>Bev shot a look at the others. Ben looked scandalized, and Eddie had crossed his arms on the table and let his head drop onto them. Bill and Stan had a knowing look in their eyes. </p><p>"We got him" Stan whispered tilting his head towards Eddie. Beverly nodded and took off to find Richie. </p><p>She wandered the grounds carefully. Richie had been acting quite shitty towards Eddie lately and the worst part is it seemed like he himself didn't know why. </p><p>She found Richie by the quad where he was sitting at the very top of the bleachers with a cigarette in hand. </p><p>She wasn't surprised. He did this when he was nervous or depressed, and right now he seemed to be both. He looked up at her with wide eyes and the first thing he said was "He probably hates me now."</p><p>"He doesn't hate you Rich." She dropped down next to him and muttered, "I don't think he even knows how to.” He handed her his cigarette and she took a couple drags and passed it back. </p><p>"I would. I would fucking hate me."</p><p>"Richie..."</p><p>"No Bev, I went ballistic, absolutely apeshit back there. I threw the dumbest tantrum possible, like what the fuck was that?!"</p><p>"Rich, I'm not gonna tell you what you did was great. It was pretty shitty, but instead of bemoaning about it with me, talk it out with Eddie." She ground her heel down on the bleachers "Both of you have been real shitty to each other lately."</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>She sighed before perking up "Tell you what," She stood up and pulled him to his feet "We're gonna skip and go to your house and crack a couple of cold ones maybe" </p><p>He sucked in his bottom lip "It's the middle of the day..." he said shouldering his backpack.</p><p>Beverly laughed "Yeah okay big guy, nobody's home right?" </p><p>Richie nodded and Beverly dragged him towards the parking lot.</p><p>***</p><p>"Ugh I hate this song" </p><p>"Are you just saying that just cuz it's a love song" Beverly snickered as she blew her bangs out of her face. She carefully moved the brush over her toenails in even strokes. </p><p>She loved doing this with Richie, whenever they had sleepovers Beverly would paint her nails and Richie would watch her do it with slight fascination brewing behind his eyes. Now and then he would cave to her pestering and let her paint his nails too. Beverly never had many girl friends and whoever was her friend was never truly at the stage of getting together with her and painting nails while giggling about cute boys. So she did that shit with Richie and he never seemed to mind, he'd even throw in his two-piece love for George Michael  </p><p>“What ever do you mean dahhling, I love LOVE. Also dark blue was a bold choice. It looks absolutely mad Bevvy” Richie was slumped on the couch next to her grinning at the blue bottle in his hand. </p><p>"I could do you next," She said cheekily as he took the brush from her and screwed the lid on before looking at her calmly. </p><p>"Not tryna get beat up this week Bev, after all where would I be without the moneymaker." </p><p>"We should do something, oh I know. How about I make us some popcorn and you pick a movie for us to watch?"</p><p>Richie agreed and walked over to the record player to stop it while Beverly headed into the kitchen with a fierce determination colouring her senses. She pulled the popcorn out of the cupboard and started snipping along the dotted line when she heard the relentless knocking sound against the front door. </p><p>Just before she could yell out to Richie to get it she heard the creak of the screen door being pulled back. Then the odd screech of it shutting mixed in with the noise of shoes thudding against the carpet. </p><p>Beverly folded the flaps back on the popcorn bag before shutting it away in the microwave. </p><p>An eerily awkward silence covered the house. </p><p>She hit the 'popcorn' button before heading over to one of the curved columns by the kitchen entrance. </p><p>'Curiosity kills the cat'</p><p>Eddie stood in front of a seated Richie. Richie was clutching onto the tape of Back to the future as he cut his gaze away from Eddie's insistent ones. </p><p>*POP*</p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes impatiently before clearing his throat loudly and pointedly looking at Richie "Wanna tell me what happened back there, or are you just gonna go all mum now?"</p><p>*POP*<br/>
*POP*<br/>
*POP*</p><p>Richie dropped the tape onto the couch and let his hands run over his face and through his wild curls. He sighed "I-I don't know. Look I just snapped, I didn't really think abou--" </p><p>"Yeah, you never do, do you? You just rattle off and spew whatever that comes to mind. No regards for feelings or anything else, you talk out of your ass and let that unfiltered shit just flow out of that trashmouth of yours."</p><p>*POP*</p><p>Richie hung his head down and braced his hands on his knees "Yeah." He pursed his lips and muttered meekly. "You're right."</p><p>Beverly cringed watching the two, it felt wrong to watch them from afar like this, but they were captivating. They seemed to be getting somewhere too, slowly but surely. </p><p>*POP*<br/>
*POP*</p><p>Bev could feel it, she itched to snap at the two of them to 'get a fucking move on' already. </p><p>"Explain." Eddie huffed impatiently as he crossed his arms across his chest. "Tell me what the fuck happened back there."</p><p>"I...I don't know."</p><p>"Bullshit! Bull-fucking-shit!" Eddie threw his hands up in the air and took a step closer to Richie, he was practically seething. </p><p>*POP*</p><p>"You knew what you were doing Tozier, don't play this off" Eddie took a step closer "You don't get to treat me like that. I didn't even do anything!"</p><p>"I guess. I guess I was scared."</p><p>"Scared...?"</p><p>"Terrified more like."</p><p>"Of what exactly?"</p><p>"Being...Being replaced I guess." He licked his lips and ran his fingers through his curls again, tugging lightly. He let his hand drop down to his neck to rub at it sheepishly. "You just seemed so happy with...with others lately. Different people. It's just been, it's been hard. Feels like you're...drifting."</p><p>*POP*</p><p>Eddie's eyes widened comically. He looked so offended that Beverly felt herself wanting to side with him. </p><p>"Drifting. Me?! I'm the one drifting?! Asshole, you've been picking nonsensical fights on the daily with me and you've been avidly pushing me away at the same time. How am I replacing any of you? If anything, it seemed like you were getting tired of me. Of us." Eddie shifted on his feet letting his gaze drop. He played with the zipper on his fanny pack subconsciously. "I thought you were pushing me away so that you could cut and run. I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore."</p><p>"Wait. What the actual fuck?!"</p><p>Eddie swiped his tears away and scowled<br/>
"Oh I'm sorry," he said sarcastically before slowly murmuring "but I seriously don't know what I'd do without you..."</p><p>"You don't know what you'd do? First off, you'd thrive, you'd go on to be the strongest, bravest, most cutest man alive. I'd be, I wouldn't be...Eds I would drown without you, you're my fucking lifeline...keeping me afloat, alive, and in one piece." Richie talked with the kind of conviction that Beverly didn't even know he was capable of. </p><p>"I'd be dead in some ditch if it wasn't for you," he muttered dropping the tape down on the couch.  </p><p>"That's." Eddie deflated and smiled with relief "That's oddly true Trashmouth."</p><p>"So...it was all just bad communication and fucked up misunderstandings?" Richie got up slowly "We good then...?" He bounced on his feet moving closer to Eddie. </p><p>Eddie stepped in and tucked his head into the curve of Richie's neck, he was a whole head shorter. "Always 'Chee" </p><p>Richie nuzzled into Eddie and he took a deep breath and snuffled the top of Eddie's hair. "Good. Don't know what I'd do without you." He whispered softly.</p><p>"I promise, you'll never find out."</p><p>Beverly gulped, it felt too intimate, almost like she was breaching a level of privacy or something. </p><p>She stopped and turned to pull the burnt bag of popcorn out of the microwave. She heard Richie quip "Afterall wouldn't wanna upset my future stepson." Followed by a loud "Ow, okay don't hurt me. Fuck Eds you got some pointy elbows."</p><p>"Scoot over boys!"</p><p>'Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back to life.'</p><p>"Bev? You were here all this time..." Nervousness bled into Eddie's tone as his eyes widened. </p><p>"Yeah, I put some popcorn in but then ran to the bathroom for some lady time. Sorry if I was gone awhile." She shrugged it off as the guys grimaced and turned their focus to the TV. </p><p>She placed the slightly burnt popcorn between them and watched Eddie grimace now and then as he bit into a charred piece. Eventually, she caught Richie searching through the bowl and handing Eddie pieces that weren't as burnt as the others. </p><p>She smiled to herself. Yeah, they were absolutely themselves, busting balls, holding hands, and caring about each other way too much. Eddie tilted away from her and cuddled into Richie as he mindlessly slung an arm around Eddie and pulled him in closer. </p><p>Or maybe they just cared the way Richie and Eddie do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. You know what I'm thinkin', See it in your eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>BEN kept the music on loud, he adjusted the clip on his walkman to keep Cover Girl blasting through his headphones as scratch-free as possible. It helped him duck his head down and not pay attention to the kids milling around him, sometimes the walk to his locker felt abysmally long. </p><p>He bumped his way through the crowd every day though, some days were always easier than others. </p><p>He wasn't exactly the 'new kid' anymore, he even had friends now. Great ones. He'd been welcomed warmly into the losers club, they'd taken him in and protected him. </p><p>Sure he still got bullied, Bowers didn't exactly lighten up just because Ben started hanging out with the towns well-known rejects. Just being Richie's friend alone means you get shit handed to you by association. </p><p>But it's all worth it.<br/>
Once a loser, always a loser. </p><p>Ben pushed his books into his locker and scribbled his work hours onto the mini calendar he had hung up. Ricky, his boss, had told him to keep track of his hours so that come payday he wouldn't fall short. </p><p>"Benny boy!" Ben felt two big hands clasp around his shoulders. "Guess whoooooo?"</p><p>"Why Rich, is Eddie running late or something?" He asked without turning around</p><p>Richie gasped in mock hurt "How could you Haystack, please, the little pasta boy has got nothing on you. Truly you are my one true--"</p><p>"Alright what do you need?" He slammed his locker and turned around to face Richie's bug eyes. </p><p>Richie was taller than Ben too, actually, Richie was taller than all of them. It had never really bothered Ben in the past, he had always just accepted that he's not exactly gonna be six feet tall, but that was okay. Ben was staring at the Batman logo etched onto Richie's shirt, he tilted his head up and met Trashmouths shit-eating grin. </p><p>"Nothing big Benny, just a poem."</p><p>"A poem...? Who are you writing a poem for?"</p><p>"Wha--hey now, there are plenty of women who would love to get some Tozier lovin."</p><p>Ben stared at Richie blankly until the other boy caved and let his shoulders drop slightly </p><p>"It's for Melissa." </p><p>"Melissa Klein?" Richie's grip on his shoulders tightened a little and Ben winced. He kept calm though and raised an eyebrow "Since when do you like Melissa?"</p><p>"Since...always. I don't know, I've kinda had a thing for her for a while. She's kinda gorgeous man."</p><p>"I mean sure...if that's your type" Ben shrugged Richie's hands off him and said, "I'll help you write a poem."</p><p>"YES! You are a lifesav--" </p><p>"Up Bup Bup, on one condition Richie," Ben told him that Richie needs to involved in it, that he can't just pawn it off on Ben and expect a good finished product. Poetry didn't work like that, it needed authenticity and sincerity, two things Richie sorely lacked.  </p><p>"Ugh, can't you just do it for me?"</p><p>"No. If you want it to be good it needs to be about your feelings, it needs to highlight things you like about her, and what she means to you. Pour your heart out kinda thing."</p><p>Richie threw his head back making his curls bounce aggressively, and groaned "Do I haaaave tooo? Come on Benny, just throw in some stuff about her eyes, maybe her hair, and a little something else to get the blood pumping if y'know what I mean" he added suggestively waggling his eyebrows. </p><p>Ben shook his head lightly with a small smile on his face. "Come on, let's go to the library."</p><p>"Fuck no. Anywhere but there. I've already been there this week and I don't go there twice in the same week."</p><p>"Alright fine, my place?"</p><p>"Why Benny I had no idea you felt that way."</p><p>Ben laughed lightly "Come on Rich, let's get you your girl" Even as Ben said it, it sounded wrong. </p><p>***</p><p>"Wheeeeee!" </p><p>"Richie, could you maybe stop doing that...?"</p><p>Richie was sitting at Ben's desk spinning really fast on his desk chair, he had Bens stress ball in his hand. He'd been throwing it in the air and catching it while spinning. The old desk chair creaked dangerously, if Richie fell on his face then Ben would have to listen to Eddie bitch at him for the rest of the week. </p><p>'Come on Ben you should know better'<br/>
'You let this idiot in your house, you're responsible for him'<br/>
'Why did you let him in your house?'</p><p>Yup, he'd be hearing it all week. He scanned over his rough draft of the poem, so far it was muddled in cliché tropes about true love and ethereal beauty. The only thing Richie seemed really captivated by was her hair for some reason and so Ben tried working that in.<br/>
"Do you have anything about her personality maybe. Some characteristic that draws you to her...?"</p><p>"I told you already"</p><p>"Yeah, but these are all physical attributes, give me something more personal."</p><p>"I don't exactly know much about her Benny, just that she sucks on her teeth angrily and flips her hair over her shoulders often."</p><p>"Right...okay. I guess, maybe I can work with that."<br/>
Ben crossed his legs over once again leaning back against his pillow. </p><p>"So why Melissa, and how long has it been Melissa?"</p><p>"Huh, not long. Fairly new I guess. As for why, I told you. She's hot. Almost as hot as Eddie's mom."</p><p>“Geez Rich, and I was just about to say that I was surprised you lasted this long"</p><p>"That's what she said...and Benny baby, give me all night and I can show you how long I last and how many times I can go" </p><p>Ben lifted his notebook and covered his face as his cheeks flared up in embarrassment. </p><p>Richie cackled loudly and Ben heard the squeaking of his chair spinning once again. </p><p>***</p><p>"Oh Romeo Oh Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo"</p><p>"You didn't write her an open monologue Richie" Stan commented dryly as he kicked his feet out and put it up against the edge of the tree stump. </p><p>Richie was sitting on top of the tree stump, dramatics flaring, hands up to devote his never-ending love for Melissa. "Deny thy father and refuse thy name"</p><p>"They don't hate you yet Richie, but keep going and the Montague Capulet feud will be nothing in comparison," Beverly said slyly. She was sitting behind Richie on the ground, leaning her back on the stump. </p><p>Ben watched as the three interacted sitting a little away from the stump, but still in the vicinity. He was reading over Richie's poem, the one he was yet to look at. </p><p>"I'm also pretty sure Melissa won't be impressed by recycled Shakespeare lines"</p><p>"Or being called 'Romeo' for that matter"</p><p>"Really, Et Tu Bevvie. Gender is a social construct." Richie tutted at her waggling a finger in her face. </p><p>Ben rolled his eyes, sometimes it felt like Richie was ahead of his time. Other times he just sounded stupid. </p><p>"Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet" He ended with a flourish. He stood on the stump and took a deep bow "Why thank you, why thank you very much" he crooned deeply. </p><p>Stan reached out and gently kicked Richie's calf "Beep Beep Richie," he said snickering. </p><p>"I think your poem is done, Rich"</p><p>The three glanced back at Ben and their eyes widened and a sheepish smile spread across their faces as if they'd forgotten he was there. It wasn't exactly anyone's fault, Ben was the one who had willingly moved back from the group. These guys all tend to have a minimal range of contact, he guesses it comes from having such a tight-knit group to begin with. If you aren't within line of contact you get excluded. It is what it is. Ben sometimes couldn't help but wonder how Mike felt. Not being able to make it for as many hangouts, missing out on the conversations during school, and worst of all feeling like an outsider even among his friends. </p><p>"Shit Benny. Done already!"</p><p>Bev pushed off the stump and bounded over to Ben. She righted her overalls and sat next to him on the pile of dried leaves.<br/>
"Can I read" she murmured. </p><p>"Bevvie that ain't nice, that there is my proclamation of love. It shouldn't be tainted by another's women's prying eyes."</p><p>"Do you even know what it says?" She sassed back at him. </p><p>Ben held the notebook tightly, he hoped he wasn't turning red. It wasn't as hard as before for him to be around Beverly, when she'd first started dating Bill it had been torture. </p><p>They weren't exactly a super touchy couple or anything, but they did lean into each other and constantly shoot each other fond looks. As if they couldn't look away, as if they grounded one another. </p><p>It was torture. </p><p>"I don't need to, Benny 'my heart burns there too' Hanscom probably did a great job." Richie shook out his mop of curls and grinned "why don't you read it out?"</p><p>"Isn't it. I don't know...kinda personal."</p><p>Stan rolled his eyes "Barely. Richie, you don't give a shit about Melissa, why are you doing this again?"</p><p>"Stan!"</p><p>"Oh you know it's true Bev, poor Ben had to write the most useless poem. Richie stop lying to yourself, get your shit together, and ask out who you really wanna ask out."</p><p>Ben felt a frisson of nervousness for Richie, a form of second-hand anxiety if you will, and for a second it looked as if a panicked expression crossed Richie's face, but then he tilted his head at Stan and Bev in confusion. He genuinely looked lost as he slowly drawled out "I have no idea what you're talking about..."</p><p>"Wouldn't be the first time." Eddie's voice broke through the awkward silence, he smacked a tree branch out of his way and scooted onto the stump right next to Richie as he dropped his bag on the ground.</p><p>There it was the awkward silence once again, but Richie looked comfortable and was watching Eddie with one of the softest looks he's ever seen. </p><p>It was almost like...</p><p>"Speak of the devil" Stan mumbled under his breath and Richie shot Stan another look of confusion. Full of furrowed brows and pursed lips, he eventually directed his attention back to Eddie. </p><p>"So Eds, Benny just finished my poem!"</p><p>"Poem? Poem for what? Who let Richie into the poetry club"</p><p>"Poetry club, that's a thing?!" Richie wheezed out, he angled himself into Eddie some more "I for one didn't know our school was that lame, but that's not what this is about. I'm not suddenly some quasi Shakespeare"</p><p>"Shakespeare did plays..." Eddie said, slowly picking Richie's glasses off his face to wipe the lens against his shirt. </p><p>"Yeah Yeah, dead playwright, wrote a bunch of tragedies and comedies with homosexual subtext. My kinda guy really, but no this is about Melissa!" </p><p>Eddie's head whipped up so quickly, Ben could've sworn he heard a crack. It could've been Eddie's neck or also just Richie's glasses being crushed in Eddie's fist. </p><p>"Melissa. Melissa Klein? The chick with--"</p><p>"Brown hair, brown eyes, short busty chic. That's the one Spaghetti. A real looker that girl, really does something to my--"</p><p>"You wrote a poem for Melissa Klein?" Eddie's voice was dangerously calm as if he was trying really hard to keep it from wavering. Ben wasn't blind, he knew that feeling better than anybody.</p><p>Anytime he looked in the general direction of both Bill and Beverly he felt like he was gonna say all the wrong things. Give himself away with the tremors in his voice, the shaking of his hands, and the sweat building at the nape of his neck. </p><p>Ben wasn't blind. Eddie may not look nervous, but he looked hurt. Like something he always thought and knew would be there was being snatched from him. </p><p>Eddie was jealous, it didn't take rocket science to figure that out and judging by the looks Richie kept shooting at him, he had no reason to be. </p><p>"Can't say he wrote anything Eddie..." Stan muttered. Eddie still hadn't averted his glare, he faced Richie's confusion head-on. </p><p>Then again it could just be the codependency of this group.<br/>
Ben could never tell with these losers.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. You hate that you want me, Hate it when you cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I feel like Mike and Eddie never get to interact, but I think they'd have a cute subtle friendship<br/>I just wanted to play with their non existent relationship a little. </p><p>- Anna</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MIKE locked the door behind him before heading for his truck Josie. He had gotten her second-handed, a pastel yellow colour that both Beverly and Richie couldn't stop poking fun at. He'd heard it all, and sure the truck is a little pasty for his taste, but she runs. She gets him where he needs to go and has always been reliable. At least until right now, he had meant to take her to the repair shop last weekend but had gotten caught up at the arcade with Richie's words of persuasion and Big Bills quarters. Now Josie was being vengeful, the losers had all agreed to meet at The Aladdin and Mike's truck wouldn't start. </p><p>He hauled the tool kit to the hood of the truck and popped the bonnet open. He was going to be late and they were probably gonna ditch him and head in. </p><p>Not that he would blame them per se. </p><p>Mike hadn't always felt like he was a part of the in-crowd exactly, but he wasn't blind. These guys were his friends, they cherished him in ways he didn't know he'd ever be. They'd all turned around and noticed and for that alone, he'd love his friends till the day he dies. </p><p>Being the black boy in Derry was terrifying, being the loser black boy was just unfortunate and exactly Mike's luck. </p><p>The engine revved under his fingertips and Mike let the grin slowly creep over his lips. Josie sputtered and crooned carefully, but slowly made her way to a start. Ol'reliable Josie indeed. He nervously eyed the vehicle and climbed in quickly, praying he'd make it to The Aladdin in one piece and let Eddie take a look at Josie when he got there. </p><p>Just in case of course. </p><p>***</p><p>Eddie had always been good with cars, for as long as Mike has known Eddie (which is not that long albeit) he'd always accepted it as basic Eddie knowledge. Something about Eddie and his late father spending time at garages and scrapyards when he had been young.</p><p>This was obviously before Mrs. K lost her marbles. </p><p>When Eddie's father had passed, cars were something Eddie had just refused to let go of, so he perfected the skill instead. As Eddie does with most things, he went in with a fierce spitfire kind of determination. </p><p>"Right here, Mikey." Eddie was leaning over the hood of Mike's truck standing on his tippy toes, he had his hands braced on the edge as he schooled that ever-familiar determined expression. "It's just the fuel filter"</p><p>"The what...?"</p><p>Eddie pulled away from the car with a fondly exasperated look colouring his expression. A low simmer burned beneath everything though. Mike ached to ask, but it felt out of place. He didn't want to put Eddie in any uncomfortable position, maybe he could mention it to Bill or Richie in passing and they can investigate. </p><p>"You have a clogged fuel filter. See this tube right here, it's clogged. The fuel isn't reaching your engine. Bring Josie by my house later and I'll fix her right up." He pulled the hood down and hit his palm on it twice good-naturedly. </p><p>"You got it Eddie" he smiled nodding along with Eddie's words "Say...how come you aren't in the movie with the others?"</p><p>When Mike had pulled up to The Aladdin with a painfully whistling Josie he'd caught Eddie outside by the foyer staring at movie posters by himself. He was holding a single ticket and a couple of Mars bars in his hands. He'd been furiously chewing on his lip and refusing to meet Mike's gaze. </p><p>That was until he mentioned Josie. At the mention of his poor old truck needing assistance, Eddie sprung into action. Pain forgotten for a split second, he rushed out ahead of Mike towards Josie. </p><p>"Just wasn't up for it I guess"</p><p>"I thought you've been dying to see this movie. Robin Williams dressing up as a woman, come on Eddie it's right up your alley."</p><p>"Yeah well...just wasn't in the mood for a comedy really" Eddie pushed himself off Josie and stood up straight. </p><p>Mike didn't know what it was that was bothering Eddie, something had stopped him from seeing 'Mrs. Doubtfire' and it was way bigger than lacking a sense of humour.</p><p>What the hell?<br/>
Obviously, something was wrong, but he didn't know how to ask. </p><p>So he didn't. </p><p>***</p><p>Mike and Eddie ended up playing air hockey and foosball in the mini arcade attached to The Aladdin. He decided he'd forego the film as well, he'd already missed about half and Eddie seemed to be in desperate need of a companion. They threw balled up straw wrappers at each other and called each other every cuss word they could think of as they battled for the air hockey championship title. </p><p>Eddie hurled nasty insult after nasty insult with the straightest face, aside from the big dorky grin adorning his face, you'd be appalled at half the shit that comes out of Eddie's mouth. He really was a walking contradiction. The way he could easily fool people with his small stature and seemingly innocent baby face just made it all the better when you see the facade break and the real Eddie shine through. Not to say Mike had ever really been on the receiving end of Eddie's shenanigans, and it's not like he really wants to be either. For some reason though, that was a part of Eddie that tended to be reserved for Richie.   </p><p>Mike ducked his head low at particular words, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks. Luckily he knew Eddie wouldn't catch it and call him out. Afterall Eddie has been best friends with Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier for like forever, nothing probably fazes him anymore. </p><p>"Damn Eddie, you kiss your mother with that mouth," he said softly chuckling, and for a split second, Eddie seemed okay. Like whatever was bothering him could be forgotten. </p><p>Eventually, the five losers emerged out of the theatre and right about then Mike caught sight of an extra member. A girl with long brown hair giggling behind one hand while she had another tangled with Richie's. Richie seemed to be lost in a story, talking animatedly at a rapid pace while he kept the girl laughing. </p><p>The infamous Melissa Klein. </p><p>"So I took my shoes off and threw them at his head—What? Don't give me that look, you know he deserved it. The guy is such a dickbag..."</p><p>"Richie what the hell is a d-d-dickbag, and dude th-that's your f-father you're talking about."</p><p>"A dickbag is a bag of dicks, and him being my father is exactly why he's a dickbag. I mean, have you met me? I got it all from somewhere man." Melissa continued giggling as she loosened her grip on Richie's hand, he turned and smiled at her before throwing his arm over her shoulder pulling her closer into him. She buried her face in his neck and murmured something in his ear causing them to turn red at the tips.  </p><p>The rest of the losers seemed slightly put off by this development. </p><p>"Mike!" Beverly's voice tore through The Aladdin, she came running up to him and Eddie. She clasped her hands around Eddie's and squeezed as if she was providing some kind of moral support. </p><p>Eddie looked like he needed it all of a sudden. </p><p>Mike turned back to the group to watch Stan elbow past Richie with Bill in tow behind him. Bill had a sheepish look on his face while Stan just looked slightly pissed and a lot determined. Or maybe it was the other way around. </p><p>Ben was the only one walking along with Richie and Melissa, but even he seemed like he wanted to run for the hills. He slowly extracted himself away from the ill-formed trio and rushed over to the group. </p><p>"You okay Ben...?" Mike asked slowly. </p><p>"I guess my poem worked. She seems to really like Richie."</p><p>Beverly winced at Ben's words, and Mike saw the hold Eddie had on Beverly's hand had tightened. He watched her purse her lips and shoot a smile towards Eddie. </p><p>Beverly was a good friend.<br/>
Richie was a dick. </p><p>***</p><p>Mike tapped his fingers impatiently against the railing on Eddie's porch steps. Eddie was inside getting some hot chocolate for the both of them, while Eddie had been fixing up their drinks Mike had dashed over to Keenes convenience store and grabbed a bag of marshmallows. </p><p>He had the bag stuffed in his hoodie's pocket. The door swung open right as Mike was gonna knock, revealing a tired-looking Mrs. Kaspbrak. </p><p>"Mike Hanlon."</p><p>"Hi Mrs. Kaspbrak" Mike shifted awkwardly, he knew Eddie's mom wasn't his biggest fan despite him not having done anything to her. "I'm just waiting for Eddie"</p><p>"...So you are. Remember that I will be watching boy, don't you dare try corrupting my Eddie-bear."</p><p>Mike gulped slowly as he felt guilty for no reason whatsoever. He felt the marshmallows in his pocket and he just knew that wasn't the corruption she was talking about. Then Eddie came dashing down the hallway with two cups clutched in his hands. </p><p>'Thank God' Mike sent a silent prayer to whatever deity out there as Eddie let the screen door shut behind him.</p><p>"Wanna go sit and drink this in the bed of your truck"</p><p>"Sure man, Josie would be honoured."</p><p>He unlatched the bed of his truck and climbed in behind Eddie, the two settled in across from each other with their respective cups of hot chocolate. Mike pulled out the marshmallows and Eddie grinned with all his teeth on display. </p><p>***</p><p>"So what's up with Richie lately?" Mike asked schooling his voice to sound nonchalant. </p><p>Eddie all but choked on a marshmallow "What do you mean, what's up with him?" He asked licking away the chocolate line that collected on his upper lip. </p><p>"Oh. Nothing, he just seems distracted lately. At first, I thought it was Melissa but that just doesn't seem right."</p><p>Eddie let out a breath "It's just Melissa Mike" he muttered out "Richie's been plucking the courage to ask her out for the last month"</p><p>"But that's what I mean Eddie. When has Richie ever been afraid to ask anyone out? When has he even showed an ounce of embarrassment about these things? Remember Kylie Ré, that super cute cheerleader, he shouted across the halls and asked her out and when she threw her shoe at his head he just laughed it off. When has Richie ever been afraid of rejection, he just does things when he feels like it" </p><p>Eddie wasn't even meeting Mike's eyes anymore. He looked like he was hoping that Josie would just swallow him whole.</p><p>"Eddie. You know what I'm saying, this whole Melissa thing seems so...inauthentic."</p><p>Eddie snorted "Is that 'Mike speak' for 'Richie's a lying bastard'" Eddie put his mug down between his legs and cradled it gently. "I don't know, he could just be really into this girl, I mean, he probably is...As he's dating her and all"</p><p>"Did you read that poem." Mike shook his head annoyed "It's not even...Eddie, it had zero subst—Richie did nothing, he barely contributed, he doesn't give two shits about this girl"</p><p>The poem had been so painfully generic. Something about her eyes being as beautiful as the stars, her hair being woven silks of yarn, and her eyes being as true and deep as the earth itself. Mike didn't blame blame Ben for even a line of that monstrosity. Richie had nothing he wanted to say, so Ben had nothing to work off of. He had poured in the clichés and cheesiest lines he could possibly throw together and created Richie's 'poem'. </p><p>Just reading that shit once made something cloy nastily in the back of Mike's throat. </p><p>"I don't want to read it, Mike. I don't want to read his waxed off poetry about some girl that has never given him the time of day before this. If that's what he wants, then fine. Fuck her and fuck him even more." Eddie was gritting his teeth together and grimacing over the line of his hot chocolate mug. He wrinkled his nose is distaste before jumping down from the bed of Mike's truck. "Let's go, the others are probably waiting."</p><p>Mike watched Eddie carefully, the impatience wafting from him as he all but snatched Mike's mug out of his hands. "Are you su--"</p><p>"I'm gonna go put these in the sink, start the truck. I'll be right back" He turned away from Mike and ran into the house. </p><p>Mike wasn't sure what was gonna happen, but he was sure there was a conversation that needed to be had. </p><p>***</p><p>The drive to the clubhouse was painfully silent. An awkward silence where Eddie was trying not to make eye contact with Mike, and all Mike was trying to do was approach a topic Eddie clearly didn't want to talk about. </p><p>There was a way to do this but he just needed...he needed the others. </p><p>They pulled up to the bend right outside the woods and before Mike could put Josie in park Eddie was throwing open the passenger door, jumping out, and running. </p><p>Mike got out slowly and followed, the dusty trap door was already open when he peered in and caught sight of Eddie curled into himself on the hammock. Richie nowhere to be seen. </p><p>Stan and Bill were talking in low hushed voices among themselves. </p><p>Mike caught Stan's eye and gave him a subtle nod. </p><p>Then Beverly, Ben, and Bill.<br/>
They all knew. </p><p>Fuck it was so obvious.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Keep it real with you I would kill for you, my baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: There is use of homophobic slurs in this chapter, solely for the purpose of character</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>RICHIE wasn't blind, okay so he was but he was wearing his glasses at the moment. He pushed them slightly up the slope of his nose as Melissa smiled at him. </p><p>She was pretty, like seriously pretty. The kind of pretty that people notice, the kind that they whisper about in the hallways. He swears he's heard oh my god did you see Melissa's hair today, or oh my god Melissa's wings are so symmetrical, Richie didn't even know what the fuck that meant. Is she angelic or something, like...that's got to be it. </p><p>Whatever he got the gist, he was a lucky motherfucker and he should do everything in his power to keep from fucking this up. </p><p>She smiled up at him shyly and tucked her hair behind her ears. Richie read somewhere that that's a universal sign of interest. Probably dating for dummies. He moved his hands away from the steering wheel and turned to watch her leaning over the middle console, her eyes looking bright as she spoke rapidly. </p><p>She reached out to grip the neckline of Richie's shirt to pull him in "Richie..." She whispered softly puckering her lips and letting her eyes flutter shut. He felt his heart hammer and palms clam up, the rampant part of his brain flared up with recklessness. </p><p>'That's normal, so what if you're nervous?' Richie shook off the nerves and leaned in, her lips were soft against his. Not necessarily persistent, but she tilted her head quickly to deepen the kiss angling her body into his. Richie moved his hands to her lower back and pulled her closer to him. He hummed against her lips, she felt good against him, real and sturdy, solid in a way that not many things in his life were. Her honey flavoured lip gloss was sweet, nothing like real honey but artificial in a way that was almost sickly. She pushed her chest against his, gripped her fingers in his hair, did everything that usually had him standing on edge in a matter of seconds, but all he felt was nervous and sweaty. </p><p>She kissed with a sense of softness, with a sense of purpose, and Richie just felt off. The car console dug into his stomach uncomfortably and Melissa was carefully climbing over it to get into Richie's lap. It was almost like he wasn't meeting her level of intensity. Which made no sense, she was a hot girl rocking at least C-cups. </p><p>There was no reason for him to stop reciprocating, but he did. The two of them just stalled between their lips and panted into each other's mouths. </p><p>He pulled away. </p><p>"You okay..." she whispered against his lips before reluctantly moving back into the passenger seat to give him some space. She looked up at him nervously tucking her hair behind her ears. </p><p>"Yeah, Yeah. No everything is cool, it's just the others are probably waiting back at the clubhouse. Remember I told you abou—"</p><p>"The trapdoor in the woods?" She asked narrowing her perfectly sculpted brows<br/>
"You interrupted our..." She cleared her throat and flipped her tresses over her shoulder "You interrupted kissing me to tell me you want to go hang out with your friends in a dusty basement in the woods"</p><p>He felt like he should feel bad. </p><p>Richie shrugged, dug his car keys out of the cup holder, and turned away from her to start the car. He heard a gentle scoff as they headed off in the direction of the woods. </p><p>***</p><p>Richie was walking ahead of Melissa, now and then he would look back to make sure she was still there. He didn't want her to get lost in the woods or anything. "You okay back there Mel?"</p><p>He heard a grunt of confirmation and kept walking. He saw three of the losers standing outside huddled around one another. </p><p>"Hey weirdos!" Stan's head whipped up really fast, but not a single curl on his head jostled. His eyes widened once he saw Richie. "Why you all standing outside looking like a bunch creeps. Is there an orgy happening inside?" </p><p>Bill rolled his eyes. "C-cant really do th-that without you Ri-Ri-Richie."</p><p>"Still hate it when you stutter my name."<br/>
Melissa caught up to the group and hooked her arm through Richie's immediately. </p><p>"Don't be rude Richie, I think Bills stutter is cute"</p><p>"Uh, th-thanks I g-guess" Bill cut his eyes away sheepishly. </p><p>It was Stan's turn to roll his eyes "What took you so long anyways, you're usually the first one here."</p><p>Melissa giggled "We got a little distracted on the way," she said glancing between Richie and the losers, she tightened her grip on Richie's arm making him smile tightly. </p><p>Richie felt his face heat up "Heh...ya." He breathed, he felt his skin burn as the flush spread across his face and down his neck. </p><p>Mike shifted uncomfortably "Okay Richie, we were just trying to come up with a way to cheer up Eddie."</p><p>Richie's brows flew to his hairline "What?! What the fuck happened to Eddie, he was fine like two hours ago. Did someone say something to him, was it one of Henry's goons? I swear those fuck wits are gonna catch it from me one of these da—"</p><p>"This has n-nothing to do w-w-with Henry"</p><p>Richie squared off and narrowed his eyes at the three "Was it you guys...?" he asked lowly "Ben or Bev? Is that what they're doing down there, trying to apologize or some shit, what'd they say to him?!"</p><p>"Nobody said shit." Stan huffed out a breath in annoyance "Nobody said anything. He's just...He's in a bad mood, Richie. He's hurt is all"</p><p>"Okay, then tell me who the fuck hurt him."<br/>
Richie took a step towards Stan, he could tell they were hiding something. </p><p>"It's complicated Rich," Mike said slowly keeping his hand on Richie's chest to calm him down</p><p>“Then uncomplicate it, what’s so complicated...is this about his mom?" Richie stepped away from Melissa so he could look into Bill's eyes. "I know I have a special relationship with her and all but if she's coming down on Eddie then we have to do something."</p><p>"For fucks sake Richie, this is about you!"</p><p>"Stan!"</p><p>"No Mike, he's willing to accept this being anyone else's fault apart from his own." Stan stepped in a poked Richie's chest "I'm not letting you ride the bullshit train Trashmouth."</p><p>"What? What'd I do?"</p><p>"Go find out," Stan said "Isn't he your best friend, go find out" before turning away from Richie, Bill shot him a helpless look and Mike lifted the trapdoor for Richie. "We'll keep Melissa here company"</p><p>Richie had no idea why that sounded as ominous as it did but he stepped down the ladder into the dusty yet familiar clubhouse. </p><p>Ben and Bev were huddled in a corner by the portable heater. 'Wonder how Bill feels about that' Richie turned to find Eddie alone in the hammock, he seemed to be asleep. He was curled up in the hammock with one arm dangling down, he had managed to leave just enough room for Richie. </p><p>He was frowning in his sleep and his brows were screwed together as if he was carrying the weight of the world somewhere between his thoughts. His lips were parted just enough that Richie could hear the soft pants of an anxiety-induced dream. </p><p>"You okay Rich" Ben said softly. </p><p>Richie snapped out of his reverie and nodded before asking the two of them to leave for a bit, he just needed a couple of minutes alone with Eddie to figure some stuff out.</p><p>"Thanks losers" he threw at them as they both pulled themselves out of the clubhouse. Beverly threw him a wink before disappearing. Richie wasn't sure how to do this, he wasn't even sure if he can do this. His heart fluttered gently, Eddie just looked so—</p><p>He cut off that train of thought and just climbed into the hammock with Eddie. The cloth staggered and swayed under their combined weight and the movement was enough to stir Eddie. </p><p>He slowly clawed at his shirt while he blearily opened his eyes. He stretched, yawned, and kept blinking the sleep away, but once his eyes focused on Richie he watched Eddie smile. </p><p>The softest of smiles, it made that fluttery feeling come back tenfold. </p><p>"Hey Eds"</p><p>Eddie tightly smiled and folded his lips before saying "Wow, I think that's the first thing you've said to me all week" Eddie was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he sounded resigned in a way that made Richie's heart constrict. </p><p>"I uh, yeah. Guess I got a little busy...or something" he said rubbing at the back of his neck. The heat rushed up to his face, fuck, this was so out of his comfort zone. He hadn't even known he had one of those. A fucking comfort zone, who the fuck was he...</p><p>"Or something..." Eddie muttered under his breath a bit bitterly. </p><p>"Has it really been—"</p><p>"Yeah Richie, the last you talked to me was in Calculus, before you asked Melissa out." </p><p>Eddie looked away and Richie desperately wanted to clamber his way back into Eddie's line of sight. He wanted Eddie to pay attention to him, he's only ever really wanted Eddie to pay attention to him. Whether it was slinging insults at him or just laughing along with whatever stupid joke he made. </p><p>"Right. I didn't realize." </p><p>Eddie scoffed "That always seems to be the problem isn't it." he said letting out a shaky sigh "You just...you were forgetting about me. About us. It was like your friends didn't matter anymore." He rubbed his arms like he was getting cold, even though it was pretty warm down here "Losers stick together remember Rich."</p><p>The 'or did you forget that too' was heavily implied, and Richie felt like shit.<br/>
Like absolute trash. </p><p>"Of course I remember, come on Eds, it's always us. The lucky seven sure, but me and you right. Before anyone else." Richie was rambling, he scooted in on the hammock to get closer to Eddie "We're different Eddie..." He said gripping Eddie's ankle tightly. </p><p>"Yeah I thought that too, but then you were suddenly dodging my calls, didn't meet me in the hallways, didn't wait for me after school, you were never home, you all but stopped talking to me. It was like—" he licked his lips "it was like you cut me out...We were always, I don't know Richie, it was like you forgot about me."</p><p>"I didn't though, I just—"</p><p>"If you didn't forget then that's somehow worse, it means I just wasn't important enough to prioritize." Eddie was sniffling now. "It means. I was easy to forget. Like you weren't even doing it consciously. You just, I just wasn't deemed enough or something." He shivered slightly "I get it, Richie, I do. You have a girlfriend now and you're prioritizing her. I just never thought I'd fall on the back burner and that's my fault I guess. People change."</p><p>"Eddie no, there's more to it than that—"</p><p>"Melissa seems great Richie. She's. She's nice and pretty and all the things you've ever wanted, I'm not trying to ruin things for you. If you think this is the way to do it with your girlfriend then who am I to stand in the way?"</p><p>"Eddie? You're Eddie. You have so much...I'm gonna fix this Eds. I'm, I won't, I can't lose you..."</p><p>Eddie sat up quickly “You won't. That's not what I'm, I guess I'm mad. Maybe. Or I just need to process and come to terms with some things. Stupid shit that I was naïve to even—whatever that's my problem...not yours." </p><p>He had tears brimming in his eyes, but it seemed as if he hadn't even noticed them. Even when they fell over and tracked down his face he didn't wipe them away, it was like they were happening without his permission. Like his body didn't know how to process the emotional pain, so it breached over and broke Eddie's rules. He cried soundlessly. </p><p>Richie dropped his head and said "Sorry Eds. Look I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I clearly pissed you off" Richie rubbed at Eddie's ankle sheepishly, he wasn't the best at apologies. "I was shitty, everything I did was shitty. This is obviously not the first time, probably won't be the last either." He said with a self-deprecating chuckle, and when he meekly looked up to catch Eddie's tear-stained face, he felt like the world's biggest piece of shit. </p><p>***</p><p>Eddie had been avoiding him all day. </p><p>Richie had History first period and Mr. Duffer had been discussing the Canadian independence treaty. Richie couldn't help but think of Canada as the little bitch boy here, even though Duffer had used words like loyal and committed. Sure, Britain had been their motherly figure, governing them forever, but when Canada finally gained independence and broke away from Britain you'd think they'd never wanna come back, but no, Canada was like the kid who had turned 18 and moved out of the house but still comes home whenever mommy dearest calls upon. </p><p>Richie couldn't imagine getting out of Derry and ever coming back. Especially because he's gonna be packing Eddie in his hand luggage and smuggling him across the country. He had no reason to come back. </p><p>The day felt so fucking long, Richie just had to make it to third period, he had Calculus with Stan and Eddie. Stan had been dismissing Richie all day as well, every time Richie said something he was quick to shut it down lately. Well, quicker than usual that is. </p><p>And ya, it stung. </p><p>Stan was always bitching about Richie's comments and his jokes, but he's never outright attempted to stop him. Richie knew he fucked up with Eddie and all, and he was working on a way to fix that, but he didn't get why Stan was so pissed at him. </p><p>He cut his way through the hall moving quickly on his feet while simultaneously trying not to brain any freshman. He felt long manicured nails curl around his arm and pull. He jerked back and slammed into Melissa. </p><p>"Oh ow, fuckkk" He groaned as they head-butted each other. "Jesus Mel, I think I just lost a few hundred braincells," he said rubbing what already felt like a forming bruise on his forehead. </p><p>She straightened herself up "Sorry Richie, it's just we haven't really talked since that day, and I guess. I was wondering. Maybe..." She looked nervous and she cut her gaze away as if she was hoping he'd pick it up and just ask so she wouldn't have to. </p><p>"Right. About that." He pried her hand off his arm and clutched it in his hands. "Listen Melissa..."</p><p>***</p><p>Maybe the 'it's not you it's me' was kind of a dick move on Richie's part, and if the stinging burn of Melissa's handprint wasn't proof enough that she wasn't exactly gonna be electing him as boyfriend of the year, then he didn't know what was. </p><p>Now with two bruises, courtesy of Melissa Klein forming on his face he made his way to Calculus. </p><p>"Hey Spaghetti" he said as cheerily as he could sliding into the seat next to Eddie who grunted something akin to acknowledgment in response and otherwise ignored him. </p><p>It's okay, Richie didn't exactly expect Eddie to be jumping for joy upon seeing him, but he did expect some kind of reaction. Maybe that was asking a lot, Richie wasn't sure, but even a couple of insults slung his way would be way better than this. </p><p>Silence made Richie's skin crawl.<br/>
He could feel Eddie's aloof attitude and detachment take on its very own life form, flare out and settle itself beneath his bones, it made the tendons in his body ache and his eyes heavy. He was bad at dealing with quiet people, bad things happen in the quiet. Unwanted thoughts and obsessive feelings blossom in the quiet. Richie likes to overthink, he breeds the kinds of scenarios that would probably never take place, not in a million years, but the silence is perfect to fester those kinds of thoughts. The kind that turns your lungs and brain into black sludge. </p><p>Silence was always so deafening. </p><p>***</p><p>Lunch was brutal.<br/>
Richie realized what happens when you have a sizeable group of friends, having two out of seven members at odds means the group adopts the divide and conquer technique. </p><p>Stan and Mike covered Eddie, Beverly immediately took her spot next to Richie with Ben in tow, he slinked his way over to Richie's other side so that they flanked Richie. Bill stood in the middle of the two like an impartial judge, an untainted party, or just a good friend. </p><p>Big Bill was often imitated but never duplicated. </p><p>"This is such a shit show," Richie said stabbing at his overcooked penné. "I didn't even think..." He sighed "I don't know what to do"</p><p>"You'll figure it out Rich, give him some time. He's just processing. Learning how to get used to 'relationship Richie'." Ben took note of Richie's confused look "Everybody changes when they get into a relationship, especially early stages. He's just not used to seeing you fawn over someone who isn't him. After all, you're prioritizing."</p><p>"Fuck. There it is again. I don't wanna hear that fucking word." Richie said exasperatedly before he pushed his fork into Ben's face causing him to flinch back "What? You think Eddie isn't my priority? You think that I don't care" he asked with incredulity colouring his tone. </p><p>"It's not about what we think Rich, it's about what Eddie thinks," Beverly added softly causing Richie to deflate. All the anger and fight just drained out of his body. Maybe he was stupid. Stupid for thinking Eddie would forgive him, that he'd ever like him again, or look at him with that dangerous sparkle in his eye ever again. </p><p>Richie head-desked in frustration, groaning loudly and displaying his emotions for the other two losers. Bill looked over from the other table at Richie worriedly, making Richie want to wave his concerns off, but he felt like shit and it felt nice to have Bill acknowledge his pain. Bill and Stan were sitting across the cafeteria at a different table with Eddie, as Mike wasn't here, Bill was filling in like the amazing leader that he is. </p><p>"I dumped Melissa" Richie muttered before pushing his head back into his arms crossed on the table. </p><p>***</p><p>Eddie had said he needs to be mad, he needs to compartmentalize and come to terms with things. He talked about letting go of fantasies, being more realistic, and not so naïve. A lot of it just sounded like bullshit excuses to avoid Richie it seemed, but who was he to call Eddie out. He was the one who fucked up, he'll take whatever he can get. </p><p>'Beggars can't be choosers' and all that shit. </p><p>Richie stood by his bike outside alone, the other four had dispersed as soon as they stepped out of the school. </p><p>Bill had a speech therapy appointment and he'd been really diligent about it lately. Something about not wanting anything to hold him back, no fear or insecurity to make him feel less than in college. Kudos to him really, Richie admired the level of courage Bill seemed to carry with him. Beverly was going to the local department store with her aunt to pick paint swatches for their kitchen. She was talking about muted taupes and subtle mauves all day. Ben had just bid Richie a goodbye saying he had some research to do, the fucking nerd. Stan was the only one who didn't bother with an explanation, he cut Richie a disappointed look and pedalled away. A look that screamed 'you fucking idiot, grow the fuck up' and he knows this because he'd seen it on Stan many times in the past. </p><p>So he stood outside and waited alone, it's not like Eddie could hide out in the school all day. Right about then Richie heard the cracking of thunder. </p><p>Fuck Derry and fuck Cindy Williams for her bullshit forecast. </p><p>He stared up at the darkening clouds and scowled. 'Whatever it's just rain. Water never killed anyone’…he doesn't think...?</p><p>About ten minutes under the pouring rain later, Richie got tired. He got tired of the rainwater being soaked up by his socks and puddling in his shoes. His jeans clung to his legs grossly, there's nothing like wet jeans. He cringed thinking of pastily removing them off his legs later, they'd make that disgusting squelching sound as they hit his bedroom floor. </p><p>He let out a frustrated sigh and shook his wet curls out of his eyes. Before he could contemplate leaving, the front door of the school was thrown open. Eddie came bounding down the steps with a neon green umbrella clutched in his hand. He swiftly opened it, ran up to Richie, and held the umbrella over his head. </p><p>Like somewhat of his own dashing Knight, a really pissed off Knight. "You could've died fucker!"</p><p>"What?" Richie asked dumbly. This is the first time Eddie's spoken to him all week, he feels his confusion was justified. </p><p>"Why are you standing out in the rain? Do you know what could happen if you...you could get pneumonia asshole!"</p><p>"I was out here for like ten minutes Eds, nothing was gonna happ—"</p><p>"Ten minutes in the RAIN fuckface!"</p><p>"Okay, stop yelling at me." He said stiffly while running a hand through his hair "I just wanted to talk to you, but since you've been avoiding me like the fucking plague as of late, I had to take my own measures."</p><p>"I told you. I'll come to you. I don't need you waiting around on me. Don't you have anything else to do?"</p><p>"No. The losers are busy, Melissa's out, and you're mad at me. I don't know if you've noticed, as Richie Tozier I don't have many options."</p><p>"What do you mean Melissa's out. Out doing what?"</p><p>"Who knows, who cares? Out meaning out of the picture Eds."</p><p>Eddie looked stunned. And Richie gets it.<br/>
Melissa Klein, she was supposed to be someone he never let go of, he was expected to cling to her till the day he dies. There's no way he'd land a girl like her ever again, it just wasn't going to happen. Obviously, at the end of the day, Richie was just Richie, and Melissa was so much more. </p><p>And if Melissa was so much more, then Eddie was...</p><p>"She broke up with you…?” Eddie asked softly. </p><p>"It was mutual," Richie told him lightly "it's no big deal Eds, she'll be dating the quarterback by the end of the week, she was probably just making her way through the ranks or something" he added with a self-deprecating laugh that made Eddie grimace. </p><p>He forgets how much Eddie hates it when he talks down on himself. He always looks like he wants to grab Richie's shoulders and shake him till he gets it or something.<br/>
Get what...Richie doesn't know exactly?</p><p>He curved himself around the umbrella, Eddie was a lot shorter than him after all and he was holding the umbrella to accommodate his own height. Which doesn't exactly fit Richie's length "Wanna hold it a bit higher Eds?"</p><p>"My arms are tired you giant beanstalk, you hold it." Richie curled his fingers around Eddie's hand holding the umbrella up with Eddie. He let his other hand hover by Eddie's lower back, building up the courage he purposefully trailed his fingers over the knobs of Eddie's spine. </p><p>It felt intimate. Clearly, Eddie thought so too, going off the hitch of his breathing and the flush spreading across his cheeks. </p><p>Richie didn't know exactly how to do this, he knew there was something to say here but the way Eddie was looking at him made it all seem okay. He felt numb and free, hurt and mended, ripped and secured all at once. It was one of the most bizarre feelings Richie had ever battled. </p><p>He knew what battling emotions was like.<br/>
This was just so much more. </p><p>"Rich..."</p><p>He hummed back watching the water clinging to Eddie's eyelashes. Small dewdrops resting on this perfect boy's face. Richie didn't even know where to begin. </p><p>"Hey look! It's the fucking fairies!" Henry Bowers was a dick. A fucking intolerable absolutely useless dick...an erectile dysfunctional one. “Corrupting everyone in town these days Tozier?”</p><p>"Seriously...we should've knocked on some fucking wood," Richie said exasperatedly. He knew karmic justice was a thing and all, but he swears he isn't that bad of a person. Why now?</p><p>"Are you spreading your faggotry around the school now too? Just couldn't stay away from the boys, could you Kaspbrak?" Well, that was new. </p><p>Not the bullying, just comments directed in the vicinity of him and not at him. Richie was startled, to say the least. </p><p>"Is that why you're here now Bowers, couldn't stay away from the boys could you?” Richie said suggestively waggling his eyebrows as menacingly as he could. It was a cheap shot, but the way Eddie tensed next to him had made him just say whatever came to mind. </p><p>"What the fuck did you say to me faggot?!" The way Bowers' face contorted was so unattractive it made a part of Richie flinch. Not out of fear or anything—no siree, he had no preservation—it was more out of repulsion if anything. </p><p>"Get some new material man, crack a dictionary once in a while" Richie loosened his grip on the umbrella and let Eddie hold it up. Eddie had dropped his hands, dropping the umbrella and letting the rain hit them both. His hands were shaking by his side. Richie couldn't tell if they were shaking out of nervousness or fury. "Seriously, there are way better slurs and insults to work with"</p><p>Bowers angrily advanced at Richie now. Better him. Better him. Better him. </p><p>It was like a mantra in his head, he shielded Eddie away from Bowers' line of sight and stood rooted to the ground ready to take whatever blow that was coming. </p><p>He felt two hands curl into the neckline of his shirt and yank him roughly. Bowers was snarling in his face, and damn did this guy ever shower. It was a lot of things at once, the fucking mullet for one. Richie understood the scraggliness comes from the lack of cleanliness and all, but damn maybe wash it once in a while. At least for the sake of those around you. He screwed his eyes shut and inevitably waited. </p><p>It wasn't like running his mouth now would help, but when has that stopped Richie "What's up Bowers, did my face distract you?" </p><p>The blow came so suddenly, it was like fucking whiplash. Richie swayed and hit the pavement. Hard. The water from the puddles around him splashed on impact, soaking his clothes and hair immediately. </p><p>Bowers took a step towards him with his foot raised. He looked like a Titan ready to crush Richie pathetically under his foot. </p><p>Right about then Richie heard a really pissed off Eddie scream. "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"</p><p>He swung the umbrella he now had gripped in his hand, it was like all the rage compacted in the 5ft2" Eddie Kaspbrak had just been unleashed. Eddie had this nervous energy always thrumming around him, simmering beneath him. Suddenly it was all breaking free, he wailed on Bowers. Repeatedly hitting him with the umbrella even after the guy had fallen and put his arms up to shield himself. </p><p>Eddie kept going. </p><p>Eventually, Richie gained some semblance of reality and scrambled up "Eddie! Eddie stop. Shit Eds, you're gonna fucking kill him!"</p><p>"Good! Fuck you, you fucking prick, for how fucking long—how many years did I tolerate your fucking bullshit!" </p><p>Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist and yanked him away. Bowers lifted his head to stare at the two with startled eyes, but even he must've seen the crazed look on Eddie's face because he got up and sprinted the fuck out of there as fast as he can.</p><p>"That's right! You better run fucker!"</p><p>"Jesus Eds."</p><p>"Don't fucking call me that!" He raised the umbrella and Richie immediately took a step back and put his hands up in surrender. </p><p>***</p><p>"Is this us talking then?" Richie asked calmly, leaning against his dresser "Cuz I feel like I've been dealing with withdrawals without you Eds. Y'know, like when you've run out of oxygen or some shit and it feels like your lungs are constricting, it's been feeling like that man. It's been hard and stuff."</p><p>Eddie was sitting on Richie's bed with a smug expression and an eyebrow raised suggestively. </p><p>"I know. I know what I said, look it's taking a lot not to comment, but I'm trying to keep this serious..." He said wringing his hands, Eddie just looked confused now and Richie didn't have the patience for this shit. He wanted Eddie to understand, like just read his mind and grasp all of Richie's feelings. </p><p>Instead, Eddie got up and took a step closer to grab at the edge of Richie's shirt, he scrunched the material in his tiny fist and dragged Richie towards the bed. They settled across from each other on the bed, Eddie at the head and Richie at the foot, each with their legs crisscrossed under them. </p><p>"I'm just gonna say it. I've been hiding it away forever, thought I didn't have a chance whatsoever" Richie said waving his arms in an aborted sense. "I thought, never in a million years would Eddie Spaghetti feel the way I feel. I had this entire thing built up in my—"</p><p>"Richie. I love you." </p><p>Richie's eyes widened as his breath cut off, he made a slight choking noise “You….you just…” before yelling "You stole my fucking thunder! Aw come on man, I was building up to that!" He pouted. </p><p>Eddie just smiled softly "I'm in love with you. In ways that make no fucking sense, you'd do the stupidest things and I'd find them so damn endearing. It doesn’t matter that you dress in the same dumb Hawaiian shirts every day, it doesn’t matter that you can’t go a single second without saying something about fucking my mother, it doesn’t even matter that you live to make my life difficult. It’s all of those things put together that make you Richie, which makes you completely irreplaceable. You’re funny even when you aren’t trying to be, there isn’t anybody who makes me laugh as hard as you can, you’re so fucking smart, you’d never let on or let anybody know how smart you really are, but you’re smarter than anyone I know, and you can be so fucking compassionate. You show affection in the oddest fucking ways, but I know that shit comes from the absolute bottom of your heart. I don’t know how else to—words have always been you’re thing, not mine—I fucking nauseate myself, that's how much I love you." </p><p>Richie broke out into the biggest grin and all but pounced at Eddie, he had no idea how he let Eddie talk for that long, he just wanted to shut him up. Eddie let out an ‘oomph’ as Richie pulled him into his lap and went straight for his lips. Right before they made contact he stopped and whispered: "Can I...?"</p><p>Eddie just circled his arms around Richie's neck and pulled him in "Fucking yesterday Rich." He kissed him like he was starving as if neither of them had seen water in weeks, they drank one another in. Eddie focused on dragging his lips languidly over his, he whimpered into the kiss and tightened his hold on Richie's curls, he pulled just hard enough to make Richie loll his head over and let out a groan of approval, Eddie being the shameless little shit he is, took complete advantage and slipped his tongue right into his mouth. </p><p>Eddie worked like a spitfire, as he does in everything, he went in with fiery determination and all but claimed Richie inside out. He maneuvered himself in Richie's lap, throwing his legs over his sides to straddle him. Richie pulled the smaller boy in closer by his waist, even the smallest of spaces between them felt like too much. He wanted Eddie right against him with both of their bony limbs pushing into each other's space. They fit like two demented puzzle pieces, not supposed to look right but when pushed together at the right angle they manage to fit together almost seamlessly. Eddie tilted his neck back as Richie peppered the long pale skin with open-mouthed kisses.</p><p>"Fuck Rich" Eddie trembled breathily. "I need...I need you to—.” He shuddered and cut off once Richie latched his teeth at the base of Eddie's throat sucking a dark red bruise. </p><p>Richie was careful. He’d never been careful a day in his life, but he clung to Eddie. Nipping and biting, then licking over the bruise with a heady sense of needing to mark. This boy was someone he'd dreamt of ever since he'd understood what attraction meant, he wanted to cover Eddie in hickeys and whisper sweet nothings right into the hollows of his ribs. </p><p>God he didn't want to fuck this up. </p><p>Eddie pulled Richie back up to meet his lips in another bruising kiss. Searing hot, Richie felt his nerves light up and his brain short circuit, but when he came to, his head settled with the notion that this was all he ever wanted. </p><p>This was the relationship he'd go to ends of the earth to hold onto.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Probably gonna do an epilogue as well, idk yet</p><p>If I don't, I just wanna say thanks to everyone who gave this story a shot. I was honestly just having fun with it.<br/>I dragged it out for a while, but now my quarantined ass decided to finish it up. </p><p>Thanks again and stay safe guys (sanitize and lay low)<br/>-Anna</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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